The Fruitless Day

      Far, far too often, I realize it's after 4 pm, and I didn't accomplish anything. This shouldn't be a daily occurrence. I have no condition that excuses me from living a meaningful life. I don't suppose any of us have, since many handicapped and bedridden people have been known to possess incredibly positive attitudes and make huge differences in the lives of others, despite everything.
      I can't count my attempts and say that at least I tried. Not today. Today I feel the weight of my fruitless efforts, and it is quite heavy. I woke up from my drugged-like state of constant reading and realized (again, for the nth time), "Wait! What have I been doing with my life?! Nothing???" Pretty much. But negativity doesn't help, so I'll try a different treatment on my poor mind.

      Today I'll take a deep breath and count what I did actually accomplish.

1. I ate breakfast. Very important.
2. I read a chapter of holy scriptures and was slightly moved as I pondered its application to my life.
3. I got dressed and walked down to the leasing office, where I picked up the package (a printer!) that came yesterday.
4. I carried the printer back to my apartment without dropping it, and had a nice short walk.
5. During my walk, I lifted the box to my head to give my arms a rest, and somehow managed to suppress the urge to sing the natives' song from The Road to Zanzibar, which consists of the repeated words "Batum bamba!" while pounding on the sides of the printer's box.
6. I finally filled out the page of Russian Vocabulary-- from Russian 101, I think. Since I passed the class with flying colors, I must not have needed to fill it out then, but my, my... how my mind has changed since 2008.

      After that, it gets a little hazy. I wanted to set up the printer, go for a run, get an home insurance agent... shower... The day isn't over. There were a lot of results for the Google search "life is going nowhere", so I know I'm not alone, either.
      In the manga I was reading today (NG Life, by Kusanagi Mizuho) a character said: "I'm just packing my bag with the things I love until my allotted time's up. Time won't stop for us, right?" He saw the wonderful things of life as fleeting, and wanted to paint them all while he could. Today I was inspired by the very thing that has distracted me from my goals for months, and not for the first time, either. Funny, huh?
      I want to be a part of something great. I don't know how I will ever manage that, but I'll keep trying, and maybe my list of accomplishments will get better, longer, and more meaningful. Посмотрим (We'll see).